FOUR Daze Before Yesterday

I've been thinking a lot lately.  Actually remembering a lot lately.  I know the spark... but its the trail that spark created that's the real story.  And as I follow the flame I watched the movie COURAGEOUS.  It's an amazing movie about fatherhood from a Christian father's standpoint.  The movie touched on the bible being the blueprint for men on their role as fathers.  I always believed that God gave you a mother and a father for very different reasons.  It was never intended to be a role fulfilled by a single parent.  As my brother and many others have said, "a woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man."  It's the father's job.  Their job is also to teach their daughters how to love by being their daughters first true love.

When my grandfather passed away, (a few dazes short of a year ago) on February 11th I remember how hard that Valentine's Day was for me.  He was my first true love.  My grandfather was my father in that he followed the blueprint the bible laid out.  He loved his wife, his children, and his grandchildren.  He was a hard-worker and a dutiful Christian man.  He taught me so much and I am forever thankful for that wisdom.

My husband always says his father did the best with the hand he was dealt.  I believe that my step-father did the same thing for me.  He came into my life as a father-figure in a different aspect than I had ever experienced.  He taught me about cars, played games with me (although I STILL can't play backgammon...it was lost in my daze), and he showed love to my mother, his wife.

It wasn't until I began to follow the flame that I understood...my brother's experience is different.  He didn't have the same lesson plan my teachers gave me.  My grandfather taught him his work ethic and his father (my step-father) wasn't around to teach him anything.

I remember this particular daze...
My aunt played favorites.  My brother was her favorite once and I was before him.  He noticed that she was paying extra attention to him and totally ignoring me.  My brother, who is 8 years younger than me, noticed my hurt feelings and told her she couldn't treat his sister like that.

I love my brother unconditionally.  I would do anything for him.  I am so sad that he didn't receive the same love lessons from his "fathers".  I pray God shows him exactly what it means to be a father.  He deserves the best and that love from fatherhood is like no other.  To know that for my step-father and my grandfather, some daze ago, I was the apple of their eye...

Ben, I will tell you just as I told Kenny... you need that love.  It does something to you that words cannot describe.

~Loving the clarity of my past daze. <3