THREE Daze before yesterday

You're my father! How can u even say some selfish shit like I didn't come to your wedding because you didn't come to mine? Wait did you invite me to be a guest at your wedding or ask me to be a participant? Yeah I think you only asked me to participate not attend.

Getting married was never something I anticipated. My husband knows that was the furthest thing from my mind. I wasn't one of those chicks chanting if u like it put a ring on it. LOL Once we decided to get married the second to last thing on my mind was the definitive decision that my little (big) brother was gonna walk me down the aisle.

My father wasn't a daddy. He fathered me by busting off in my mom. Bottom line! My grandfather was my male parental figure. He made sure I had dinner, I had fun money, and I had a pumpkin for my Halloween birthday. That was my daddy. He couldn't walk me down the aisle to give me to my husband, so it fell on the other male in my life.

My brother is 8 years younger than me. We didn't always get along but we did always have each others back and I love and respect him dearly. Of course he would walk me down the aisle and give me to my husband on behalf of our family. That's a definite!

I invited my father to attend because I wanted him there. I love my father. But his wedding was before mine and I didn't go. So he didn't come to mine or respond to my invitation. That hurt for a long time but then I'm used to him hurting me. He treats my baby brother and sister like gold and me like the dirty goldminer just there to do a job totally irrelevant to the bottom line...precious, beautiful, shiny, gold.

My brother did an exceptional job. He did what he always does. He supported me and walked me through the biggest change I've ever endured.

The three greatest men in my life have been my grandfather, my brother, Ben, and my husband. I thank God for their understanding, support, and unconditional love.

Back in the Daze

I moved to Northern VA about 8 1/2 years ago.  Before that I lived in a city down in Southern VA that was mostly black or white people.  Once I got to Northern VA I experienced a new type of diversity.  I met people from Afghanistan and Pakistan, Vietnam and Korea, Turkey and Lebanon, different countries all over the world.  Countries that I still can't even point out on the world globe.  I learned about different religions, cultures, and traditions.

Most importantly I learned that the world wasn't just black or white people.  I learned that the racism I experienced growing up in the south weren't prevalent up here in the north.

My first-hand experience with racism was by these little white boys who ran to the end of their yard and told me to "get away from my yard, nigger."  I was so taken aback when this happened.  Mind you it was back in the days of my college years, the 90s, which wasn't THAT long ago.

I recently took a picture of a white man in Northern VA walking up to the drive-thru window at Wendy's after midnight and being served.  My first reaction was to wonder if this man was robbing the cashier...I put my window up just in case, even though I have no idea what protection that was going to provide me. LOL  My second reaction was shock at him handing her money and walking to the second window to pick-up his order.  I immediately thought aloud, "that would never happen if that dude was black."  So I posted the picture I took with the caption "only white people can do this."  Oh my gosh, the backlash I received from that statement!!!  28 comments!  Comments ranging from:  "That's happened to me and I'm white."  "We are all in this together."  "Close your eyes and stop seeing color."

I understand that even in this day and age racism is a sensitive issue.  But the reality of it is that it exists.  Some things are not going to happen with a positive outcome for some people in this world just because of their race.  It's something we all are guilty of.  I feel horrible every time I panic internally when I see someone in a niqab (the Muslim veil covering the entire face except the eyes). 

I guess we ARE all in this together in that we all experience some racism and we all have some racist thoughts/ideals.